What is Living an Authentic Life?

Who is the real you? Henry David Thoreau said it well: “Be yourself, not your idea of what you think somebody else’s ideas of yourself should be.” Knowing our true self affects how we view and experience life. It influences the choices we make, how we manage our relationships, and manifests through our behavior.

Living Authentically Requires Self Awareness, Self Love, And Courage.

Self Awareness starts with having the clarity to know your core values; becoming aware of your natural abilities and strengths and learning to appreciate them. Working with my clients, it’s one of the first things we tackle in our Illumination Session. Recognizing our personal core values leads to a lifelong advantage. This self-discovery exercise will allow  you to act in a way that aligns with your genuine self.

Self Love comes with respecting and caring for yourself, as well as holding yourself in high regard.  Explore and deepen your appreciation of your innate skills, talents, and strengths – it’s your special sauce. Perhaps, growing up, the pressure to “conform to the norm” made us feel a little off-track, and we worried about not being accepted. Discovering the recipe that makes you, you, and embracing it, we can start the process of self love. Instead of altering yourself to “fit in”, here’s where you can truly and lovingly appreciate the person you are and what you have to offer the world.

Courage. Understanding and appreciating yourself takes courage, because a fulfilled life requires you to stand on your own, even when your perspective may be different than others. When the crowd runs south, you decide whether to stand firm, feel like exploring north, or head south at your own pace, for your own reasons. Building the courage to speak your perspective and say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ is an opportunity to align with your values.

Inauthentic Living Diminishes Your Well-Being

Have you ever acted against your values because you didn’t want to disappoint someone who was counting on you? We want to succeed, but keeping our relationships positive shouldn’t be to our own detriment. When our words or actions mirror what we believe is expected of us, we run the risk of going against our authentic and true selves.

This impacts our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. The experience of pushing aside our authentic self is a physically uncomfortable one, which can lead to aches in our bodies, suffering undue stress, or trying to escape with “numbing” activities such as overeating or overdrinking.

Suppressing our core values and acting outside of our authentic self, can also lead to setting our emotions aside or withholding them entirely. We can bottle up our emotions for a time, but just one straw can break the camel’s back, resulting in waves of anger or ill-timed outbursts. Or we may be stuck ruminating, festering from our unfulfilled truths. Acting like someone you are expected to be may also lead to limiting your social interactions, resulting in loneliness. Not to mention that being someone else is exhausting!

Begin Your Journey with Intention

·         Stay “in your lane” and behave according to your own beliefs and values.

·         Check in from time to time: when are you feeling alive versus artificial? When do you feel real joy?

·         Note who you’re with and what you’re doing during these times of fulfillment.

·         Listen to your body. Are you feeling uncomfortable sensations, and the sense that you’re holding something back?

When you align decisions and activities with what is truly important to you, you’re doing your whole self a huge favor.

When identifying and pinpointing their core values, clients tell me, “That was NOT easy!” But it is worth every minute of exploration. One of the greatest benefits to living authentically is that it allows you to be you.

A Recent Success Story

One client came to realize that appreciation was in important value for her and that she needed to feel appreciated in her work and personal relationships.  She discovered a need to grow her appreciation of herself to live her authentic self. At work, she was feeling undervalued; almost invisible. Knowing the work culture, she recognized that this was unlikely to change. It was time to explore possibilities for a new position. She also reflected on past personal relationships and realized that she never felt fully appreciated. She now holds this attribute at a higher standard and is beginning to build her self-appreciation before extending out to new personal relationships. 

Working with my clients, we focus on improving and enlightening our self awareness. Knowing who you are and what’s important can help you not only respond in the now, but also design the future you want with confidence.